In my role as a Marriage & Family Therapist, I often encounter people who exist in duality black and white categories in their lives especially regarding love. While this paradigm truly works for some, it can limit others. How is it possible that you loved a partner so dearly one week only to learn they deceived you and therefore you switch to no love that same day? As if all the love got wiped out in a matter of words? And it seems we all have a sense that the fondness for our favorite pet is different than the love we feel for our romantic partner, which is different than that we feel for our parent. And yet, we call them all love. There are also other experiences in which you regard a friend so dearly they exist in your heart somewhere between brother, lover and best friend, same sex or not and this is a version of love. And can you love more than one person at a time?

The Ancient Greeks had several distinct words for different types of love, including Eros (romantic, passionate love), Philia (deep friendship), Storge (familial love), and Agape (selfless, unconditional love). Other less common terms include Mania (intense, obsessive love), Ludus (playful love), and Pragma (lasting, committed love). 

Here's a more detailed look at each:

• Storge (στοργή):
  Storge encompasses familial love, particularly between parents and children, and can also be used to describe other types of affectionate attachment. 

• Agape (ἀγάπη):
  Agape is often translated as "charitable love" or "love for all," and it's frequently used to describe the love of God for humanity and vice versa. 

• Mania (μανία):
  Mania refers to intense, often obsessive, love, sometimes bordering on madness. 

• Ludus (Λούδος):
  Ludus describes playful love, often found in the early stages of a relationship or between playful friends. 

• Pragma (πράγμα):
  Pragma refers to lasting, committed love that grows over time through shared experiences and care. 

• Philautia (Φιλαυτία):
  Philautia describes self-love, or the love of oneself. 

• Eros (ἔρως):
  This word refers to romantic love, often associated with passion and sexual desire. 
• Philia (φιλία):
  Philia describes deep friendship, affection, and camaraderie. ​

One specialty I truly enjoy which may seem nihilistic, is conscious uncoupling. When it is determined that a romantic partnership is no longer serving either person and is in fact inhibiting the growth of both, a process can be done to mutually and amicably, respectfully and lovingly release each other to a next chapter and a new label of their connection. The love is often not gone, it has merely been transformed into a different nuance of love. This process can also apply to friendships, business partners and even siblings and familial ties. The result is often an increase in Philautia and a heightened sense of Agape.  

My interests and expertise are influenced by my personal experience and journey, which should be implied. I have experienced and been shown in my family, friend circles and communities more iterations of love than I ever thought possible in my youth. I have experienced great heartbreak and soulmate connections. I openly hold space for all of these boundless experiences in my work as a therapist.

An exceptional human experience refers to an event, moment, or series of moments in an individual’s life that stands out as particularly profound, rare, transformative, or extraordinary. These experiences often go beyond the ordinary and can involve heightened states of awareness, emotional intensity, or personal growth. They may be marked by a sense of deep meaning or significance, and are sometimes difficult to describe fully, as they transcend normal daily experience.
Here are some key characteristics of exceptional human experiences:
1. Transcendence or Altered States of Consciousness

• These are moments when an individual feels a sense of being "transcended" beyond the usual limits of self or reality. This could include spiritual experiences, mystical encounters, profound moments of insight, or peak experiences.
• Examples: Near-death experiences (NDEs), mystical visions, moments of deep meditation or mindfulness, or a sudden shift in perception that feels revelatory or otherworldly.

2. Transformation or Personal Growth

• An exceptional human experience often leads to significant personal transformation. This might involve shifts in one’s values, priorities, or beliefs. These experiences can reframe how a person sees themselves and the world around them.
• Examples: Overcoming a major life challenge (like surviving a serious illness), a profound therapy experience, or a deep sense of "rebirth" after a crisis or turning point.

3. Deep Connection to Others or the World

• Exceptional experiences often involve a sense of connection that is intense or unusual, whether with other people, nature, or the universe at large. This connection may be felt as deeply meaningful, and it may lead to lasting changes in how one relates to the world.
• Examples: Experiencing profound empathy, altruistic moments where one feels deeply connected to the well-being of others, or a sense of unity with nature.

4. Heightened Awareness or Perception

• Sometimes, exceptional experiences involve moments where one's senses, intuition, or mental clarity are significantly heightened. This might be a sudden insight or clarity about something in life, or it could be an experience of sensory richness or perceptual alteration.
• Examples: Moments of deep creative insight, sudden clarity in solving a complex problem, or feeling “fully alive” and present in a given moment, as in flow states.

5. Unusual or Surreal Events

• These experiences might be completely outside the norm, challenging one's understanding of reality. Often described as uncanny or surreal, these events are sometimes interpreted as signs, synchronicities, or as connected to forces beyond ordinary comprehension.
• Examples: Encounters with the paranormal, profound coincidences (synchronicities), dreams that feel particularly real or meaningful, or having experiences that cannot be easily explained by science or logic.

6. Euphoric or Peak Experiences

• These are moments of intense joy, ecstasy, or fulfillment that feel extraordinary, often accompanied by a sense of awe or wonder.
• Examples: Deep moments of happiness or achievement, such as falling in love, achieving a lifelong dream, or an emotional high from creative expression.

7. Spiritual or Existential Revelations

• Some exceptional human experiences involve moments of spiritual awakening or existential understanding. These experiences might give the person a sense of understanding about life, death, or the nature of the universe.
• Examples: A sudden feeling of peace after a spiritual practice, encountering a sense of the divine, or experiencing a profound sense of meaning that persists long after the event.

Clients often come to me wanting to make sense of and integrate such experiences. which are often difficult to explain to others in their life. This can result in feelings of isolation on one hand and feeling the interconnectedness of everything on the other. Sometimes such experiences inspire and require bigger paradigm shifts and together we discuss the changes a person wants to implement and the communities that will support them in doing so.

​Transpersonal experience refers to states of consciousness that transcend the ordinary sense of self, often connecting individuals to something greater than themselves, such as a higher power, universal consciousness, or the collective human experience. These experiences can occur during moments of deep meditation, peak emotional states, or profound life events, and they often involve feelings of unity, interconnectedness, and heightened awareness. Transpersonal psychology explores these phenomena, seeking to understand their impact on personal growth, spiritual development, and overall well-being. Such experiences can lead to transformative insights, shifts in perception, and a deeper sense of purpose in life.

Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally focusing one's attention on the present moment with an attitude of openness, curiosity, and non-judgment. It involves being fully aware of one's thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment without getting caught up in them. For example, mindful breathing is a common practice where individuals focus on the sensation of their breath entering and leaving the body, helping to anchor their attention in the present. Another example is mindful eating, which involves paying close attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of food, as well as the physical sensations of hunger and fullness, promoting a more conscious and enjoyable eating experience.


In psychotherapy, mindfulness can be a transformative tool, helping clients cultivate greater awareness and acceptance of their thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. I incorporate mindfulness techniques to assist clients in staying present during sessions, reducing the impact of anxiety, depression, and stress. Practices like body scanning and mindful breathing enable clients to recognize and regulate their emotional responses, fostering a deeper connection between mind and body. By integrating mindfulness, I empower clients to develop coping mechanisms, enhance self-awareness, and promote emotional resilience, leading to more effective and lasting therapeutic outcomes.

Somatic therapy is an innovative approach to mental health treatment that focuses on the profound connection between the mind and body. Unlike traditional talk therapies that emphasize verbal communication, somatic therapy incorporates physical experiences and sensations into the healing process. This holistic method aims to address the root causes of trauma and stress stored in the body, promoting overall well-being.

Somatic therapy is based on the premise that the body holds onto past experiences, especially traumatic ones. These experiences can manifest as physical tension, pain, or other bodily sensations. By tuning into these physical cues, individuals can uncover and release deep-seated emotional wounds. This approach integrates techniques from various disciplines, including psychology, bodywork, and mindfulness practices.
Key Principles of Somatic Therapy

1. Mind-Body Connection: Somatic therapy emphasizes that mental and emotional health is intricately linked to physical sensations. The body can reveal insights into psychological states that may not be accessible through words alone.
2. Body Awareness: Developing a heightened awareness of bodily sensations is crucial in somatic therapy. Clients learn to recognize and interpret physical signs of stress, anxiety, or trauma, facilitating deeper self-understanding.
3. Release and Regulation: Through various techniques such as deep breathing, movement, touch, and grounding exercises, clients can release physical tension and regulate their nervous systems. This process helps in alleviating symptoms of trauma and promoting a sense of safety and calm.

Techniques Used in Somatic Therapy

• Body Scanning: This involves systematically focusing on different parts of the body to identify areas of tension or discomfort.
• Grounding Exercises: Techniques like deep breathing, mindful walking, or sensory awareness help clients stay present and connected to their bodies.
• Movement and Gesture: Encouraging clients to express themselves through movement can help release trapped emotions and energy.
• Touch and Massage: Therapeutic touch, when appropriate, can aid in releasing tension and fostering a sense of safety.

Benefits of Somatic Therapy

• Trauma Recovery: Somatic therapy is particularly effective for individuals with trauma, helping them process and release traumatic memories stored in the body.
• Stress Reduction: By learning to recognize and manage bodily sensations, clients can better handle stress and anxiety.
• Improved Emotional Regulation: Enhanced body awareness leads to better control over emotional responses, promoting overall emotional health.
• Enhanced Self-Awareness: Clients gain a deeper understanding of the mind-body connection, leading to greater self-insight and personal growth.

Somatic therapy offers a unique and powerful approach to healing by recognizing the body as an essential component of mental health. By addressing the physical manifestations of emotional and psychological issues, individuals can achieve a more integrated and holistic sense of well-being. Whether dealing with trauma, stress, or other emotional challenges, somatic therapy provides valuable tools for fostering healing and resilience.

We see the world as WE ARE not how it objectively is. Every perspective is subjective.  How could it be any other way?

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength."

by Marcus Aurelius

There comes a time if life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.​

"When a loved one passes, there is only one good thing you can say about it. In the pain of their passing you get to experience a form of clarity that nothing else can match. When a loved one is gone you know, really know, that all that matters is saying "I love you." Everything else is pointless in comparison. If you have had this experience, your loved one has given you a chance like none other. You get to live the rest of your life in the remembrance of what they taught you about love. This is how you love them after they are gone. This is living without regret."
by Rolf Gates in "Meditations on Intention and Being"